Daddy Loves You

I don’t know if I should tell you this,

so don’t repeat it.

You know those hedges in the backyard? Well, yesterday I saw something I wasn’t supposed to see. I know I wasn’t supposed to see this, because it’s not the type of thing people see. You catch my drift?

Now before I go on, I need your word you won’t make a peep out of this, otherwise you’re gonna have to answer to more than just me, OK?

So the other day, I’m out back having a cigar I always have at the end of the day, everyday I do this. Everyday; I get home, I grab a beer, I go out back, have my cigar and I look out and relax. Now, this day, I’m out back having my cigar, and something’s moving out in the hedges. Now look, I wasn’t born in the sticks. I don’t know what to expect other than a squirrel or something. But this was no squirrel. I know this was no squirrel, cause I ain’t ever heard no squirrel make no noise like what I heard in the backyard. Now, your mother doesn’t know about this, but I know she would tell you we call the police. She would tell you that we’re good neighbors, but fuck all that. I’m not picking up a phone until I figure out what I’m dealing with here, capisce?

So, I reach behind the grill we got there on the porch, pull out my shotgun, and I put down my cigar to make sure smoke don’t get in my eye. I lift up the barrel, aiming out into the backyard. Now I know we can’t have nobody shoving their nose in our family business, so I only got one shot to pull off on whatever the hell this was without people wondering too much about what that sound was, or what the neighborhood has gone to, or whatever nonsense you’ll hear old church ladies bitch about. So I wait there for a minute, listening real careful, and I fire a single shot. Then it’s quiet. I put the gun back where I had it. I cover it back up and make sure it’s safe where I got it. I pick back up my cigar, and I finish smoking.

Now when I get done doing this, your mother finishes her cooking and we had that baked ziti I know you like. I like your mother's ziti too. I love your mother’s cooking, you know. So we get done, I tuck you into bed and read your bedtime story and then I get back down to the basement.

I grab my black gloves, and my hazmat suit. I go back out, go over to those hedges and you know what I find? I find a body. It’s kind of like you, but dead.

Now this body used to be someone who doesn’t like me, you, or your mommy. I know this, because this guy put out what me and my coworkers call a hit on me, you, and mommy. Now when that happens that means other people want you dead. But your daddy would never let that ever happen to my sweet angel. That’s because your daddy has many friends who all work for daddy, and they love our family very much. And they would never want anything bad to happen to us either. Now, I know your mother thinks you’re too young to hear all this kind of thing. But I’m the man of this house, and when I says four years old is plenty old enough to hear about what daddy does, then four years old is plenty old enough.

Now, tomorrow morning, your uncle tony is coming over. You like uncle tony, right? good. Well, he’s coming over tomorrow, and you, uncle tony, and me are going to take that bad man who wanted to hurt daddy up to uncle tony’s farm. And you’re going to be able to see all the animals. Now when we get up there, I’m going to need you to stay away from the pigs. I know you really like seeing the piggies, you named the one Oscar, right? That’s right. See daddy remembers. But, you’ll get to see Oscar another day when Oscar's not so hungry. OK baby? OK. You have a good night. Remember, Daddy loves you.